2013 has just ticked away . I was shocked as if I just undergone few things. Something happened last year was huge which made me feel like it was yesterday.
Recalling what happened last year, three things pop up into my head: new job, grandma passed away and failure in a relationship.
Changing for a new job is not that bad, at least you get paid for what you do. This is what I love about this job. But the other two things hurts.
I never thought I grandma would pass away all of a sudden. I always believe my grandma will live a long life. She was, in general, in good health good condition. Her passing away was a shock to all of us. She always love me and my sisters. She never say how she loves us, but we can tell from all the details. After my grandma’s death, every time I go home, I was used to expect my grandma. And every time I left home, I was expecting my grandma too who was used to say farewell to me. Tree prefer calm while wind not subside.It is not the fact we lost our family member that hurt, it is the contradiction that we are ready to pay respect to them, but they can not wait anymore. It occur to me that we should be really nice and kind to everybody we love.
The failure in relationship with a girl hurts too. The relationship last from the beginning of 1st May to 30th November. I give so much hope and energy to keep it running well, but it turned out to be a failure. Open your heart? Seriously? It is the so-called reality that beat us or her. Nothing to do to save this. It is doomed, to be honest, it kinda relief. Love bears no dishonesty.
As the brand new year is in the making, I will embrace it with a big smile.
I hope all is well in 2014, especially my career.
To make this happen, I need to pay a little more attention to it and work extra hours on daily bases. To keep my work organized, I will add some work journal maybe on weekly or monthly basis.
Harder work, better career. That is the theme of year 2014 I suppose.
LOVE YOU 2014, DON’T LET ME DOWN!!!
Hasn’t update any journal for a months. It is a month for readjustment. I shift all my attention to my work and just shut up the door about any the negative feelings. What’ done is done! Make the most of the time being that really matter.
Work hasn’t been easier, anyway, I do it better.
Mel, thanks for keeping me company for 7 months. For this moment, I am grateful for all your time and attention.
From 1st May to today 30th November, everyday was bright despite some disagreement. You are not the most beautiful, but the most considerate girl I’v ever met. I like the feeling acting ourselves when we are having a relationship. You just being you, me just being me. And maybe because of this, I didn’t pay too much attention to your feelings. I was used to live on myself. I was too protective, I don’t show my feeling to others except for some of my best friends. Of course, I did show my feeling to you. But you said to me, for the first time, you never entered my inner world. I didn’t open my heart to you. You complain to me about my indifference. You said, you feel like you are on your own all the time.
I won’t deny. You are true about this. We keep different attitudes toward love. In your opinion, love is continuous concern. Well I think, love still lives despite we are apart. It is our personality that separate us. More accurately, it is my self-concern that make you feel like that I do not care too much about you even when we just start the relationship. I know that it is unlikely that I would change my nature. That’s why I didn’t insist for a second chance. You are afraid of being hurt. I am afraid of hurting you unintentionally. My heart is longing for you, but my personality keeps you away. Maybe it is the best for both of us ending this relationship.
If Recollecting Were Forgetting
If recollecting were forgetting,
Then I remember not,
And if forgetting, recollecting,
How Near I had forget.
And if miss, were merry,
And to mourn, were gay,
How very blithe the fingers,
That gathered this, Today!
It is not all about miss and mourn. True, I miss you but I missed you. It is now more of lesson, open you heart when in love.
Mel, I remember this, when you meet the right girl, open your heart.
Thanks for sharing 7 months with me in your life time. I am grateful for all of these.
May happy will always be with you in the days to come.
0:08 1st Dec, 2013
I thought I was gonna write something every week and keep this blog running. It turned out that it is easier to start than continue.
I haven’t anything for more than two months. Can’t believe it. On one hand, I am surprised how time passed fast. On the other hand, I am disappointed at my self a little bit for not being able to keep this blog running continuously. Well it is not strange at all, I have seen people keep journal with great enthusiasm, but at last, the blog is forgotten.
Since I am still loving this, I will keep journal as always…
Lost and goal
Today, I feel like writing something. It is not because of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, well I have to confess that my last post was the result of OCD.
We occasionally hear people say love what you do or do what you love. Yeah, that is absolutely true. But the fact is, not all of us are fortunately enough to get what you love. Thus, I deem that “Love what you do is more practical”. Similarly, I suppose we should love the place we live.
I moved to the place where I am now living on March 8. I knew it won’t be an ideal place to live since the working place is in the suburb. It turned out to be a place what I had pictured in my mind. Terrible transportation – only two or three buses to downtown, besides, you have to wait 20 – 30 minutes to get on a bus. OK, I am not here to complain, I am here to compliment. Compliment the beauty of the place where I live.
I used to believe that this place is dull, boring and lifeless compared with the place where I used to live. I used to share a three bedroom apartment with my “classmates”. It was fun. We used to have a-two-days-off weekends. We travel together, cook together and share food together. We talked about complains and funny stuff happened in the working hours. Sometimes, we invited other guy to come and have fun. The most frequently discussed topic is that how we feel quite different after graduation. Looking back, it is all about thrilling and crazy things in my head – play truant, on line gaming, cramming homework, shopping, movie watching, searching for places that are amusing and preparing for tests, to name just a few. Oh, too much nostalgia.
Getting away from the point, huh? Go back the topic then. I am a bit love the place where I am now living. Fresh air, cozy morning, less time wasted taking public transportation. If I have a inner piece, I shall read many books and enjoy lots of movies. At the time being, I have to spend sometime working on the website mentioned in the last journal.
Time is short, we got to love the place where we are living no matter if you like it or not right now. You will have sweet memories when recalling those passed days.
Times is short, we got to love the friends and colleagues we met. Sometimes, friends and colleagues is like brothers or sisters, we don’t pick them, we just have them. We do no have time or chances to make up for the lost relations. What can do is to treat them well. You will have nothing to regret.
Time is short. We shall love the place we are now living, treasure the days that are passing and be kind to the colleagues we are working with.
Judged from the URL, this journal should be posted on 14 June. However it is updated today. I was thinking of writing something that day, but the tiredness made me put off the journal. The theme of it, I think I knows, so does she.
One week later, I do not feel that guilty. Anyway my intention was good. It is the best for both of us, especially for her. I just didn’t feel right. Still, I wish her all the best.
June is the graduation season, I come across the related news occasionally. This made me recall the those days in college, always so much fun! It kept the purest love I have ever had. The result is unpleasing, but the memories are sweet. In this materialistic society, I am not expecting that and won’t think about it. I just hope it comes in a natural way.
It has been nearly 4 month since I changed for the new job. Cannot believe it! Time passed really fast. It is raining intermittently all day long. The environment here is quite good. I can hear bird twittering here and there. It is peaceful, my mind however, is quite the opposite.
Though I have 2 days off this week, I feel like I am more busy than the working hours. Lately, I spend almost all my spare time working on the newly launched website: China Travel Advice. I rushed to my dorm immediately off duty. New ideas just keep popping into my head. I have to make all the good ideas happen. Sometimes one little problem will cost me hours. That is OK for I love working on these problems. What make thing worse is that I was attracted to other subjects which working on this problem. Pretty awkward.
Won’t stay up late and no more extra work for today.
Welcome, peaceful night~
20 May is nothing but a normal day in the rest of the world, however it is embodied with special meanings in China. May 20th – 520, in Chinese is “五二零”. The three numbers are pronounced pretty much like “我爱你”, translated into English – I love you. If Valentin’s Day is a day to show your love, as far as I am concerned, 20th May should be a day to express love to your lover. As for the time being, I do have some similar words to express. To the girl called Mel. We met on 1st May – International Labor Day. The chance is created by magic. At least I think it is kinda of magic. Want to know this girl? Click to check out!
The spirit is willing,
I would love to learn more about her. I want to get the job done. I hope to have free time. But the fact is I only have 24 hour for I single day. For now, it is hard to strike a balance among them. So I choose the first. We spend a wonderful weekends together.
She loves photography, here is her masterpiece (while travelling the Langshan Mountain) and also mine.
OK, I admit hers is much better!
But, the flesh is weak…
I need some rest! zZ…