Haven’t been blogging for almost two week. It feels good to think back and keep record of everything that you care. There are too many reasons that I didn’t keep any journal in the past two weeks. I had a New Year vacation for 6 days. So I spared most of time with my parents and my grandma. I also visited my sister occasionally. These made me very happy. My parents also arranged a blind date for me. I didn’t give too much expectation about it. Anyway, I cannot turn down their request. Why not give it a shot?

On 2, January, we go the girls. To our surprise, she was not home. We wait there for almost two hours. She finally turned up with many of her relatives. Embarrassed enough, we barely had any conversation. For a few minute, I only gathered that we were from the same high school. And we are of the same age. Besides, our colleges are in the same city. Before leaving, we exchanged the phone numbers. She was good looking, I have to say I did’t expect that!

Cute Girl with Big Eyes - cartoon

I was going to call her at night but I don’t know if it is proper, so I text her asking if it is acceptable. She answer that we can chat on line. So I have to do so. I feels comfortable chatting with her that night.

The next day, I had to go to work in another city which is far from my hometown. So did she. I sent messages to her everyday after that. She replied every time, but never send me any message. I can understand that girls are tend to be shy. But felt depressed since I cannot get any messages from her. I do not know if I should go on with this relationship?

Maybe I will have the answers a few day later. Waiting for something that could be futile is excruciating. I must settle it quickly!


Updated on 1/14/2013

First of all, I have to admit that I did make mistakes. I have said to her I will call her on Friday night. In the evening, I text her asking what is she doing. She said she is dinning with her colleagues. She said that one colleagues of her is leaving for another job, so she and other colleagues to give him a farewell party. I thought I should not interrupt, so I give up making a call. Instead, I sent a few messages.

Later that evening, I chatted with her saying I will visit her the very next day, that is Saturday. She was hesitated at first, I can sense that. But anyway, she agreed to. Then I was going to book a ticket. A ticket on 9:30. I said I am too tired to get the earlier bus. She said o me, “Well, you can come to me when you have spare time, you know working for 8 day in a row is very tiring.” I started to change my idea, well then, I can visit her later.

On Saturated night, I text her messages about the stuff on her renren page(SNS in China which is similar to Facebook). She didn’t reply me. Then I sent another message saying “Sleeping?”

She didn’t reply any of the message even on Sunday. I start to realize that our “relation” comes to an end! To be frank, I was a little bit frustrated, however a even more stronger emotion erupted, that is great relief. I do not have to wait for a message, do not have to figure out what to text, what is proper and interesting to text.

We cannot push too hard on a relationship for both end. If one side is not pleased or not harmonious with the other part, then both of them should give up. Giving up is wise in such cases. Giving up saves you energy so that you can start a brand new relationship which may be your life-long marriage.


Updated on 04/07/2013

April 4th is China’s Tomb-sweeping Day (4th, April). We have a three days off. Parents will take every chance to arrange a blind dating for their sons and daughters. And this time, nothing changes. My parents arrange a blind dating for me. We left for the girl’s at about 15:30 P.M. on 4th April. They are already there when we get there. I have to say it is very much like a traditional blind dating although I haven’t seen such a dating. The girl and his dad sit in a bench upright. I take a quick look at the girl when I stepped to the front door. She is a nice looking girl and a bit mature, I thought.

It has been a bit awkward when we get there. I did not know what to say since the girl’s day was there. My brother-in-law talked to her and make the situation less embarrassing.  Maybe his dad noticed something and he left. Then my brother-in-law tell me to move a bit closer to her. We talked a lot and I thought it was a good conversation. But it turned out that I was totally wrong. During the conversation, I notice that we are from the same high school. She graduated from the school in 2007 and graduated from college in 2010. She works as a salesperson for half a year and then worked as a teacher since then.

I made a mistake during this dating. I asked  a question which is too private. I asked her if she had a love relationship. That is too rude though I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just trying to find more topics.

When we are about to leave, I asked if she can give me her phone number. She rejected, then she gave me her on line chatting number to me. At that very moment, I realized that mission failed.

I added her as my friend but it cannot be added. She did not give me any chance even to chat with her on line. But still, I can send her an e-mail. So far, I have not got her reply.


Updated on 04/08/2013

It turned out to be a misunderstanding. The girl I dated on 4th April added me as a friend yesterday afternoon. Since then, I asked a lot of questions about her and why didn’t she give me the phone number. She explained that her father is a bit traditional. Though I did not know if there is a relationship between her explanation and the result, I believed her. I was curious about the first impression I left. She said I was nice looking and a bit friendly. In the same way, she asked how I thought of her. To be honest, she is nice looking too and mature I think. I admire very much of her honesty. She told me that she was a little strange. I do not know what is that kind of strange. Maybe, it is her character. While I have to admit that I am a bit strange. It is a truth that people change. Then she added, it is highly possible that we will end up breaking up with our relationship. At least, I thought she meant so. I told her, she left me a good first impression and we should go on dating to see if we are made for each other. Her reply astonished me. “If there is such a possibility, I think we’d better not start with a relationship at the first place.” I explained again and again how sincere and determined I am. Her replies made me more confused. I have to ask if she can give me a chance and meet me in person this weekend. Equally confusing, she answered “I will tell you tomorrow!”

Now I am waiting for a sign!


Updated on 04/09/2013

Life is so dramatic that it is way beyond your imagination. I like the girl very much (which I can not use the word love for love must withstand the test of time). I have given too much hope for this relationship. Yesterday was Monday, while working, I was wondering if she can give me a positive sign. I sent her a message on line at about 8:30 P.M. and texted her since I did not get her reply on line. Several minutes later, I got her message saying she was busy with something. Then I texted her asking what was she thinking because I was desperately to know her answer.

To my surprise she called back at about 9:20. She told me that we are not made for each other. She listed  a few reason which I think is not related at all. First, she thought I was a bit younger. Come on, I am a few days younger than you. Is it really a big deal? Being young is not meant to be simple and naive. I asked she if she thought I was immature. She denied. And she told me she had asked her sister for advice, her suggestion is negative.  I have no idea what she had told her sister about me. Then she listed few of her so called bad habit. She said that she is not good looking, not good at housework. Most of all, she thinks that her characteristic is a bit weird. In contrast, she listed a lot of the so called virtues I have. She thinks I am tall, handsome, outgoing and kind. While, I have to say that I am not good looking and I am not talktive. Why I have a lot to talk? Because I like you and I want to express.

From my perspectives, the reasons she listed to prove that we are not made for each other are not reasons at all. She was always trying to thinks in my way. She thought I should find a 20 year girl who is a bit immature. Kidding me? Who wants a immature girl? Her words made me think of the movie SHE IS OUT OF MY LEAGUE. I am not sure if she thought I am out of her league? If so, she was totally wrong.

To make me give up this relationship, she told me that she is in a relationship with another guy who had started dating with her for half a year. It is this very “story” that drives me crazy. I am not sure if this “story” is true or not. Or she just made this story up trying to persuade me into giving up.

During this conversation I asked if she could meet me in persona on this Sunday. She always deny my request saying that meeting in person may change her mind. It was late at night. She find an excuse – she had to reply two messages. She also implied I can call her back later. So I agreed and once again I asked her out. Conversation ended.

What I am thinking? I do not know what love is, but I am certain I am committed to love!


Updated on 04/10/2013

I am sick of blind date and I am not going to blind date this year. I am so so tired there days. Yesterday, I called her but I do not know why it cannot came through. Finally, I made it after several tries. We exchange ideas, honestly, I got more confused talking to her. She just do not want to give up her relationship with his boy friend. She confessed that she had some problems with his boy friend. Somehow, the phone lost connection. I paid the communication fee and get through half an hour later. She said she broke up with his boy friend and do not want to talk. So we said good night and she said she will call me tomorrow – that is today. This morning, she texted me “what are you doing? Already got up?” Then she told me that she won’t have a relationship with me. It will make her feel very terrible about herself. She will save her relationship with her boyfriend. What can I say? Four letter words?

I am tired to think. Get busy living or get busy dying. At the time being, maybe, getting busy is the best option.